"Society needs strong leaders with good values and plenty of confidence. And though some personalities are content to be followers, most parents want their kids to learn to lead. These resources can help your child develop the skills they need to become self-aware leaders with integrity and compassion. 

Model Thoughtful Leadership

Illustrating leadership to your child may mean more than a heart-to-heart about their confidence levels. Modeling can go a long way toward enhancing your child’s development.

• Be an empathetic friend, parent, and professional while prioritizing your needs.
• Help other children thrive with an organization like CASA of Seneca, Sandusky, and Wyandot Counties.
• Model persistence and leadership through continuing education.

Promote Self-Expression

While temper tantrums are a no-no, allowing children to express themselves helps cultivate leadership abilities.

• Give kids options so they can make decisions for themselves.
• Foster independence by enabling even young children to handle daily tasks.
• Provide space for children to explore their creativity.
• Support children’s communication skills and development so they can speak their minds.

Offer Age-Appropriate Challenges

Overcoming obstacles with grit and integrity is an essential part of leadership. Challenge kids in healthy ways to bring out their natural ability to lead.

• Assign kids chores that they can complete independently.
• Give children the tools and space they need to resolve conflicts on their own.
• Help your little one become a good friend to others – the cornerstone of good leadership.

Modeling thoughtful leadership, allowing space for self-discovery, and providing healthy challenges can help nurture leadership skills in even the youngest of children. By offering kids freedom within healthy limits, parents are setting them up for lifelong success. Even if your child isn’t a natural-born leader, they can learn the necessary skills with guidance and support."

Article written by Jenna Sherman. Jenna is a mom of three (two girls and a boy). She hopes to help other parents acquire the skills they need to raise future leaders by providing a collection of valuable, up-to-date, authoritative resources. She created parent-leaders.com as an avenue for parents who want to make sure their children grow up to be strong, independent, successful adults.

Photo via Unsplash

"Your child counts on you, misses you, and can be worried if they do not physically see you. Here is a list of activities that can help you maintain contact with your child. Check with your social worker if there are any restrictions about how you can have contact with your child.

The goal is for a child to maintain and enhance all their connections while living apart from ALL the key people in their lives. Connections include relatives, friends, pets, culture, the type of food you eat, smells, and routines. In this time of COVID19 and when a child is not living with their parent(s) many family connections can be lost or broken. With creativity and flexibility, we can work together to reconnect you to your child or keep you connected to your child.

Alternatives to In-Person Visits

What are the best alternatives to in-person visits? Methods that allow live audio and visuals are best. Older children can appreciate receiving written correspondence but should be used as an additional method and not the primary method of the family making connections.

1. Virtual visits using programs that allow live interaction with voice and visual. Skype, Facetime, Zoom are some examples.                                           
2. Audio only – phone calls and internet calling apps.                                      
3. Text only – live – SMS, chat apps and even email when done with immediate interaction.                                                                                    
4. Recordings – no live interaction – recordings using audio and/or visual.                                                                  
5. Written – US mail, email, and other forms of written communication.

Tips for video chats with children

To support children with their video chats:

1. Choose a good time of day. Don’t set up for disappointment by picking a time when your child is tired, busy with other activities, or restless.                                                             
2. Many short chats several times a week are more useful than one long chat.                                                                                                                                
3. Do not expect a young child to stay in front of the screen the entire time. Let the child run around in the room as they would normally if you were with them.                                                                                                           
4. Help your child adjust to this way of talking with you. This will take practice over several visits. When young children interact in person, they pick up communication cues from sight, sound, smell, and touch. Since video chat only involves sight and sound, help your child to concentrate on those senses. Repeat questions, ask your child to ask questions, or point out things your child can see and identify. Depending on the child’s age, expect the child to change topics frequently or to not respond to your question directly.                                                                                         
5. Be patient!!!! Within a few sessions, your child will become accustomed to this. Many children may know more about interacting using video chat apps than you do. Ask your child to teach you.                                          
6. Have materials ready – storybooks, musical instruments, your child’s latest artwork, homework or, whatever you plan to share so he doesn’t lose interest as you, or the adult helping your child do the chat, scramble to find something.                                                                                                             
7. Show your child where you are.                                                                
8. Let your child interact with others during the chat (as approved by your worker) siblings, pets, relatives, friends, etc.                                                        
9. Prepare your child that sometimes the internet “loses” calls. Let your child know you will call back as soon as possible if this occurs.                                  
10. Make it fun, something the child looks forward to doing again.

Tips for adults video chatting with young children:

1. Practice looking at the camera – it is tempting to keep your eyes on your own picture, or the images on the screen – but it is more important to make eye contact by looking at the camera.  Eye contact promotes interactive communication.                                                                     
2. If there is an adult with your child, you can ask them to help engage the child in activities with you. It is OK to talk to that adult, make sure any conversation is focused on interacting with the child, not about adult issues.                                                                                                                  
3. Keep very young children engaged with you by playing ‘peek a boo’ – turn the camera away from you, then back to your face – and then sometimes when the camera comes back – you can surprise the kids by showing a book, or toy, or something else that you want to talk about.                                                                          
4. Make sure to use the same greeting each time and in the same tone of voice when chatting with infants and toddlers. Infants and toddlers learn to recognize and feel comfortable with a real person on the screen when they hear that same sound each time they see the person. This is important because they often depend more on smell and touch when meeting a person – so they need more visual and sound cues to recognize you on video chat.                                                                                                   
5. Think of new questions for each chat. The questions can be silly. A question like “How are you?” can be difficult for younger children to answer. Ask specific questions about what they are doing right now.                                            
6. Avoid talking too much about the virus or why you cannot be together right now. Of course, truthfully answer your child’s questions about these difficult topics. Your child may be worried about you and if you will get sick. Reassure your child about your situation and if you are sick give your child the information, they can understand based on their age.                                                                  
7. Use a lot of gestures and facial expressions. Be close to the camera – but not so close that your video partner can’t see your hands. Don’t be afraid to move – don’t be a talking head.                                                                                    
8. Talk to your child about their emotions and fears. Even if you do not have the perfect answer it helps the child to know that you care and are willing to listen.                                                                                                                        
9. • These sites contain written, audio, and visual information for parents of younger children.
     • https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/coronavirus-how-talk-child.html
     • https://www.pbs.org/newshour/health/10-tips-for-talking-about-covid-19-with-your-kids
     • https://zerotothrive.org/covid-19/covid-19-kids/
   • My Hero is You, A book in multiple languages for children 6 to 11 years old. https://interagencystandingcommittee.org/iasc-reference-group-mental-health-and-psychosocial-support-emergency-settings/my-hero-you
   • An activity book for young children. https://www.unicef.org/jamaica/documents/activity-book-talking-about-covid-19-kids
   • Here is a video for pre-school and school-age children. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEYq_Yv9PXY
   • A book: https://nosycrow.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Coronavirus-A-Book-for-Children.pdfTalk to your child about COVID19. Many online resources help explain COVID19. Here are a few examples. Select an age-appropriate resource.

To make video chats more interactive:

1. Try using a smartphone, tablet, or laptop so you can both move around to show different views and different activities.                                                       
2. Have your child use as large of a screen as possible so you are more normal size, i.e. a tablet rather than a phone screen. Check with the adult on the other end about how you look on the caregiver’s screen. Sometimes turning the screen will make the picture become larger.                                                     
3. Pretend to share snacks. People on both sides of the screen have the same snack and the adults can pretend to hand it off-camera to camera - to a child’s delight.                                                                                                   
4. Eat a meal together (it does not have to be the same food).                                                        
5. Play music and sing – People on both ends of the camera can hear songs and sing or dance together and join in with instruments or dancing.                                                                                 
6. Ask the child what they want to do. Plan the next chat session with your child as a way of finishing your time together. Remind the child when the next chat will be.                                                                                               
7. For older children consider using apps like ZOOM that allow you to not only see and talk to each other but also to write notes, share computer screens, and other interactivities. Example: Your child can show you their homework and you can help them.                                                          
8. REMEMBER to say goodbye, kisses and hugs (yes one can hug your phone and pretend you receive the hug) just as you would when ending a face to face visit.

Video chatting doesn’t have to be a major event. A quick, spontaneous chat can be a fun way for distant grownups and children to feel close to each other. Several short chats a week may be better than one long chat.

Adapted from: https://www.naeyc.org/our-work/families/tips-video-chatting-young-children

Free video chat apps: Skype, Facetime, Facebook messenger, Zoom, Whatsap, Instagram, and many more. Need help obtaining a phone, tablet or internet access: See Handout on “Virtual Visit Resources”

Activities for virtual visits

1. Many organizations have resources on the internet to help parents and children. Online you can find games, learning activities, advice, songs, and much more. EX: www.PBSkids.org If you use an app like ZOOM the parent can show the game, book, or activity from their screen and the child will see the same thing on their screen.                                                     
2. Go on a virtual field trip together. Be sure to use a chat program so you can communicate with each other while looking at the same website. A couple of places to start would be NASA's Website at http://www.nasa.gov or the PBS Website at http://www.pbs.org. https://kidsactivitiesblog.com/135714/virtual-field-trips/ is an entire website of trips listed by the child’s grade. Many museums, parks, and zoos are offering virtual field trips or live viewings.                                                                                
3. On phone calls/internet chats do imaginary outings together. Imagine we are going to our favorite place to get ice cream…                                                              
4. Read your child’s favorite book or tell them a story. There are many free internet books available to read. Libraries have many free downloadable books.                                                                                                    
5. Play Internet games together. Ask your child which games they like to play. Many electronic games that your child knows can be played together online. Video chat apps like Facebook Messenger have games and programs that put hats, faces, and other things on the people on the screen. Young children can love playing these games and stay very engaged with the person on the screen.                                                                                       
6. With permission from your worker: invite relatives, friends, siblings, pets to join the call. This can be done from 3 or more locations on most apps.

Other ways to stay connected with your child

1. Make a video or audiotape of you reading bedtime stories. Send it to your child along with the book. Or just send the message. This is easy using your smartphone or computer.                                                                      
2. Send a package containing all the things your child will need if he or she gets sick or is homebound. For example, send a can of their favorite food, a special blanket or pillowcase, a video or audiotape wishing them a speedy recovery, crossword puzzles, or a stuffed animal.                                                                                         
3. Send your child a picture of you or one of both of you. If you wear perfume or cologne, spray some on a card. Mail it to your child.                                                      
4. Find unique things to write your letters on, for example, things your child likes—a favorite color of paper, stickers, or pictures of things they like; fun objects — napkins, paper tray liners, or pictures of you. Cut paper into special shapes (holiday shapes like shamrocks or hearts); or puzzles (cut your finished letter into pieces; try sending one piece at a time).                                                                            
5. Do a letter each day. Send by mail or email. Start a letter and take it with you throughout the day – (or think about what to put in the letter throughout the day). Add a sentence every now and then and be sure to add where you are when you write the different sentences (i.e., at work, cooking, eating).                                                                                           
6. Begin a life's lessons booklet. Each week write down a few of the lessons you have learned in life and how you learned those lessons. When the booklet is full, send it to your child to use as he or she begins or continues the journey of life.                                                                                                  
7. Arrange for flowers or pizza to be delivered to your child before or after a special event (e.g., a play, recital, or sports game, a holiday, birthday). Include a note telling them how proud you are of their accomplishment.                                                                            
8. Draw pictures of what you do all day. Be sure to include things like what you eat and what you read. Things that you might think are boring, your kids will be interested in reading about when they cannot see you. Have your child do the same.                                                                          
9. Write a newsletter (have a regular issue of your own family newsletter with columns about each child, family events, and exciting news). Write about family stories, traditions, special events, past vacations, etc. Ask your relatives to add to the newsletter.                                                          
10. Make a package that contains cookie cutters and the non-perishable ingredients of your child's favorite cookie so you can "help" them bake while you are away.                                                                                                                  
11. Make a top 10 list of what you like about your child. Send it to them; maybe one each day.                                                                                                                       
12. Send pictures of yourself doing different activities, in different places, making funny faces, etc.                                                                                                      
13. For older children help with homework or homeschooling.

Adapted from: The National Long Distance Relationship Building Institute. (2001). 20 long-distance activities for dads at a distance [On-line].  More suggestions are on this site.  www.daads.com

Social Workers and Visit Supervisors:

1. Encourage and support parents to do as many of these activities as possible. Nothing can totally replace in-person visits but having NO contact will be detrimental to the child and the parent.                                              
2. Three-way video chats using different applications are easy to set up and allow for a visit to be supervised.                                                                                       
3. Visit supervisors can provide support and guidance using three-way chats. A pre-chat practice session may be necessary to practice how to provide guidance during the call (example: using written instructions that are available on some apps that go just to the parent).                                                                                        
4. Using apps such as Zoom allows for more options like written instructions that the child or caregiver does not see.                                                                                         
5. Involve the child’s caregiver in setting up and supporting the different types of connections. In this time of uncertainty, anything all the adults can do to help the child maintain relationships will help the child.                                                                                       
6. Most of these apps allow for confidentiality of the caregiver’s address and phone number if this is necessary.                                                                    
7. Research solutions rather than denying contact."

 

Article written by Rose Marie Wentz.

1. "Stick to a routine. Go to sleep and wake up at a reasonable time, write a schedule that is varied and includes time for work as well as self-care.                                                                       
2. Dress for the social life you want, not the social life you have. Get showered and dressed in comfortable clothes, wash your face, brush your teeth. Take the time to do a bath or a facial. Put on some bright colors. It is amazing how our dress can impact our mood.                                              
3. Get out at least once a day, for at least thirty minutes. If you are concerned of contact, try first thing in the morning, or later in the evening, and try less traveled streets and avenues. If you are high risk or living with those who are high risk, open the windows and blast the fan. It is amazing how much fresh air can do for spirits.                                      
4. Find some time to move each day, again daily for at least thirty minutes. If you don’t feel comfortable going outside, there are many YouTube videos that offer free movement classes, and if all else fails, turn on the music and have a dance party!                                                                            
5. Reach out to others, you guessed it, at least once daily for thirty minutes. Try to do FaceTime, Skype, phone calls, texting—connect with other people to seek and provide support. Don’t forget to do this for your children as well. Set up virtual playdates with friends daily via FaceTime, Facebook Messenger Kids, Zoom, etc.—your kids miss their friends, too!                                                                
6. Stay hydrated and eat well. This one may seem obvious, but stress and eating often don’t mix well, and we find ourselves over-indulging, forgetting to eat, and avoiding food. Drink plenty of water, eat some good and nutritious foods, and challenge yourself to learn how to cook something new!                                                                                                       
7. Develop a self-care toolkit. This can look different for everyone. A lot of successful self-care strategies involve a sensory component (seven senses: touch, taste, sight, hearing, smell, vestibular (movement) and proprioceptive (comforting pressure). An idea for each: a soft blanket or stuffed animal, a hot chocolate, photos of vacations, comforting music, lavender or eucalyptus oil, a small swing or rocking chair, a weighted blanket. A journal, an inspirational book, or a mandala coloring book is wonderful, bubbles to blow or blowing watercolor on paper through a straw are visually appealing as well as work on controlled breath. Mint gum, Listerine strips, ginger ale, frozen Starburst, ice packs, and cold are also good for anxiety regulation. For children, it is great to help them create a self-regulation comfort box (often a shoe-box or bin they can decorate) that they can use on the ready for first-aid when overwhelmed.                                                 
8. Spend extra time playing with children. Children will rarely communicate how they are feeling, but will often make a bid for attention and communication through play. Don’t be surprised to see therapeutic themes of illness, doctor visits, and isolation play through. Understand that play is cathartic and helpful for children—it is how they process their world and problem solve, and there’s a lot they are seeing and experiencing in the now.                                                                                
9. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt, and a wide berth. A lot of cooped up time can bring out the worst in everyone. Each person will have moments when they will not be at their best. It is important to move with grace through blowups, to not show up to every argument you are invited to, and to not hold grudges and continue disagreements. Everyone is doing the best they can to make it through this.                                                       
10. Everyone find their own retreat space. Space is at a premium, particularly with city living. It is important that people think through their own separate space for work and for relaxation. For children, help them identify a place where they can go to retreat when stressed. You can make this place cozy by using blankets, pillows, cushions, scarves, beanbags, tents, and “forts”. It is good to know that even when we are on top of each other, we have our own special place to go to be alone.                                                    
11. Expect behavioral issues in children, and respond gently. We are all struggling with disruption in routine, none more than children, who rely on routines constructed by others to make them feel safe and to know what comes next. Expect increased anxiety, worries and fears, nightmares, difficulty separating or sleeping, testing limits, and meltdowns. Do not introduce major behavioral plans or consequences at this time—hold stable and focus on emotional connection.                                                                
12. Focus on safety and attachment. We are going to be living for a bit with the unprecedented demand of meeting all work deadlines, homeschooling children, running a sterile household, and making a whole lot of entertainment in confinement. We can get wrapped up in meeting expectations in all domains, but we must remember that these are scary and unpredictable times for children. Focus on strengthening the connection through time spent following their lead, through physical touch, through play, through therapeutic books, and via verbal reassurances that you will be there for them in this time.                                                                      
13. Lower expectations and practice radical self-acceptance. This idea is connected with #12. We are doing too many things in this moment, under fear and stress. This does not make a formula for excellence. Instead, give yourself what psychologists call “radical self-acceptance”: accepting everything about yourself, your current situation, and your life without question, blame, or pushback. You cannot fail at this—there is no roadmap, no precedent for this, and we are all truly doing the best we can in an impossible situation.                                                                        
14. Limit social media and COVID conversation, especially around children. One can find tons of information on COVID-19 to consume, and it changes minute to minute. The information is often sensationalized, negatively skewed, and alarmist. Find a few trusted sources that you can check in with consistently, limit it to a few times a day, and set a time limit for yourself on how much you consume (again 30 minutes tops, 2-3 times daily). Keep news and alarming conversations out of earshot from children—they see and hear everything, and can become very frightened by what they hear.                                                                                                   
15. Notice the good in the world, the helpers. There is a lot of scary, negative, and overwhelming information to take in regarding this pandemic. There are also a ton of stories of people sacrificing, donating, and supporting one another in miraculous ways. It is important to counter-balance the heavy information with the hopeful information.                                                                 
16. Help others. Find ways, big and small, to give back to others. Support restaurants, offer to grocery shop, check in with elderly neighbors, write psychological wellness tips for others—helping others gives us a sense of agency when things seem out of control.                                                      
17. Find something you can control, and control the heck out of it. In moments of big uncertainty and overwhelm, control your little corner of the world. Organize your bookshelf, purge your closet, put together that furniture, group your toys. It helps to anchor and ground us when the bigger things are chaotic.                                                                                           
18. Find a long-term project to dive into. Now is the time to learn how to play the keyboard, put together a huge jigsaw puzzle, start a 15-hour game of Risk, paint a picture, read the Harry Potter series, binge watch an 8-season show, crochet a blanket, solve a Rubix cube, or develop a new town in Animal Crossing. Find something that will keep you busy, distracted, and engaged to take breaks from what is going on in the outside world.                                                                                                            
19. Engage in repetitive movements and left-right movements. Research has shown that repetitive movement (knitting, coloring, painting, clay sculpting, jump roping etc.) especially left-right movement (running, drumming, skating, hopping) can be effective at self-soothing and maintaining self-regulation in moments of distress.                                            
20. Find an expressive art and go for it. Our emotional brain is very receptive to the creative arts, and it is a direct portal for release of feeling. Find something that is creative (sculpting, drawing, dancing, music, singing, playing) and give it your all. See how relieved you can feel. It is a very effective way of helping kids to emote and communicate as well!                                                             
21. Find lightness and humor in each day. There is a lot to be worried about, and with good reason. Counterbalance this heaviness with something funny each day: cat videos on YouTube, a stand-up show on Netflix, a funny movie—we all need a little comedic relief in our day, every day.                                                                  
22. Reach out for help—your team is there for you. If you have a therapist or psychiatrist, they are available to you, even at a distance. Keep up your medications and your therapy sessions the best you can. If you are having difficulty coping, seek out help for the first time. There are mental health people ready to help you through this crisis. Your children’s teachers and related service providers will do anything within their power to help, especially for those parents tasked with the difficult task of being a whole treatment team to their child with special challenges. Seek support groups of fellow home-schoolers, parents, and neighbors to feel connected. There is help and support out there, any time of the day—although we are physically distant, we can always connect virtually.                                                                 
23. “Chunk” your quarantine, take it moment by moment. We have no road map for this. We don’t know what this will look like in 1 day, 1 week, or 1 month from now. Often, when I work with patients who have anxiety around overwhelming issues, I suggest that they engage in a strategy called “chunking”—focusing on whatever bite-sized piece of a challenge that feels manageable. Whether that be 5 minutes, a day, or a week at a time—find what feels doable for you, and set a timestamp for how far ahead in the future you will let yourself worry. Take each chunk one at a time, and move through stress in pieces.                                                                    
24. Remind yourself daily that this is temporary. It seems in the midst of this quarantine that it will never end. It is terrifying to think of the road stretching ahead of us. Please take time to remind yourself that although this is very scary and difficult, and will go on for an undetermined amount of time, it is a season of life and it will pass. We will return to feeling free, safe, busy, and connected in the days ahead.                                                                   
25. Find the lesson. This whole crisis can seem sad, senseless, and at times, avoidable. When psychologists work with trauma, a key feature to helping someone work through said trauma is to help them find their agency, the potential positive outcomes they can affect, the meaning and construction that can come out of destruction. What can each of us learn here, in big and small ways, from this crisis? What needs to change in ourselves, our homes, our communities, our nation, and our world?"

Article from Seneca County Family and Children First

“Are you helping your child become a successful adult? According to the Search Institute, there are 40 key developmental assets that you can provide to your school-aged child that will help them transition through childhood and adulthood.

As you begin providing these assets to your child, keep in mind the following six guidelines provided by the Search Institute. First, remember that every positive adult and child who you know can be an encouraging influence on your child. Second, remember that your child needs as many of these 40 assets as possible to help them positively develop. Third, relationships are key to asset building, so provide your child with plenty of social interaction. Fourth, remember that asset building is a process that you will continue into adulthood. Fifth, provide consistent messages through the experiences and values that you teach your children — make sure other adults, children and media are reinforcing your set of beliefs and values. Sixth, continually reinforce your messages throughout your child’s life.

The Search Institute provides the following 40 assets which are critical to your child’s development. They are divided into two key areas: external and internal assets, with four subcategories within each area.

External Assets

External assets are those positive experiences that occur through sources outside of your child’s own internal world, such as family, school, daycare, and other adults. The Search Institute has focused on four key external assets that are vital to your child’s development: support, empowerment, boundaries and expectations, and constructive use of time.

Support

Support your child by giving them plenty of love, care, and attention. Show them that you are interested in their passions and hobbies. Give them support by answering questions they have and helping them work through issues. When you disagree with them on a matter or when they misbehave, make sure they still know you love them unconditionally.

(1) Give your child family support by providing lots of love from all members.                                                                                       

(2) Communicate with your child in positive ways, and make sure they feel comfortable approaching you for advice.                                                                

(3) Provide other adult relationships for your child besides you and your significant other.                                                                                                                 

(4) Provide opportunities for your child to experience caring neighbors.                                                              

(5) Encourage positive relationships with their teachers and schoolmates, and make sure they are in a caring, encouraging school environment.                                                          

(6) Become actively involved in your child’s school life and help them succeed in school.

Empowerment

Empower your child to use their talents and abilities to help other people. Find service projects for them in the neighborhood and community. Encourage them to write letters to the editor of your local newspaper on issues that affect them in the community. Gradually increase the amount of control they have in their daily schedule.

(7) Make sure your child feels valued and appreciated by the adults in their life.                                                                                            

(8) Include your child in family meetings and decisions.                                                

(9) When possible, involve your child in your community service projects.                                                 

(10) Provide your child with safe environments at home, in the neighborhood, and at other care locations.

Boundaries and Expectations

Set firm, yet reasonable, boundaries and high, yet realistic, expectations for your child. Make sure other caregivers are providing consistent boundaries. Remain unyielding on boundary issues that affect the child's safety (i.e. wearing a bicycle helmet). Constantly challenge your child to do their best at school, and be available to help them with homework.

(11) Provide clear and consistent rules and consequences. Make sure you know where your child is at all times.                                                                                             

(12) Make sure that their school provides clear rules and consequences.                                                   

(13) Encourage your neighbors to take responsibility in monitoring your child’s behavior in the neighborhood.                                                                          

(14) Provide several positive adult role models for your child.                                                                

(15) Encourage friendships with children who model positive, responsible behavior.                                                                                                                  

(16) Begin setting high, yet realistic, expectations for their performance at school and in other activities.

Constructive Use of Time

Spend time finding activities for your child which will make constructive use of their time. Don’t just sit them in front of the television to keep them quiet, but keep them engaged in a variety of activities and playtime. Give opportunities for structured, adult-supervised activities outside of the home. Teach basic time management skills so they begin to learn how to create a healthy balance between work and play.

(17) Provide opportunities for your child to participate in music, art, drama, or creative writing at least twice a week.                                                                                  

(18) Provide structured school or community activities for your child at least twice a week.                                                                                                                      

(19) Regularly attend religious services together as a family at least once a week.                                                                                                               

(20) Balance your child’s time at home between high-quality interaction with you and free time alone or with siblings. Limit the amount of time spent watching television and playing video games.

Internal Assets

Internal assets are those experiences that help to develop a sense of confidence and purpose within your child. Internal assets focus on commitments, values, skills, and a positive outlook on life. As your child grows, these assets will help develop the wisdom needed for decision making, conflict resolution, and planning for the future. Search Institute provides four key areas of internal assets: commitment to learning, positive values, social competencies, and positive identity.

Commitment to Learning

Spark your child’s commitment to learning. Give them a special place to study and do homework, and create standard guidelines for accomplishing homework each day. As your child develops their reading skills, let them read to you each day, and be sure to affirm their progress. Provide opportunities for your child to learn more about subjects that interest them.

(21) Make sure your child is motivated to do well in school and other activities.                                                                                                

(22) Talk with your child’s teachers to ensure that they are actively engaged in learning. Provide learning opportunities outside of school (such as trips to the zoo).                                                                                                                        

(23) Make sure your child is responsible with their homework and is able to complete assignments on time.                                                                             

(24) Encourage your child to bond with teachers and adults in their school.                                                                                

(25) Make reading fun for your child by incorporating reading time into fun family events (for more information, read the iMom article, “Getting Your Kids Interested in Reading”), and encourage them to read for fun most days of the week.

Positive Values

Guide your child in their moral and spiritual development, and give them a foundation of positive values to build their life on. Consistently teach and model character traits such as honesty, responsibility, integrity, and compassion. Incorporate these values into their daily life. For example, make sure they write thank-you notes for gifts they receive, practice good table manners, and show respect to the adults they encounter each day. Involve them in family service projects. Always be on the lookout in the world around you for examples of character and values which you can discuss together.

(26) Teach your child that it is important to help other people.                                                           

(27) Teach your child that it is important to speak up for other people.                                                               

(28) Teach your child that it is important to stand up for their beliefs.                                                  

(29) Teach your child the importance of telling the truth.                                                      

(30) Teach your child the importance of accepting personal responsibility for their actions.                                                                                                               

(31) Teach your child the importance of good health habits and a healthy age-appropriate understanding of sexuality.

Social Competencies

Actively teach and model social competencies and life skills which will help them relate to other people. These skills will help your child effectively handle challenges and stress; develop and maintain healthy relationships; and become an effective contributor in their school, as well as their future workplace, community, and society. To help your child develop these skills, encourage them to communicate with words rather than actions. Encourage them to spend time with those who are different from them.

(32) As your child begins to master their age-appropriate level of decision making and planning skills, assist them when they ask for help, but allow them to develop their skills.                                                                                    

(33) At this age, your child will begin developing interpersonal competence. Make sure they show concern for other people’s feelings, enjoy making friends, and attempt to manage their anger and frustration.                                                                          

(34) Continue to develop your child’s cultural competence and make sure they are comfortable around people of different racial, ethnic, and cultural backgrounds.                                                                                                                          

(35) Make sure that your child is able to say no to peer pressure and can stay away from people who are likely to lead them into trouble.                                                                   

(36) Continue training your child in peacemaking skills and make sure that they are attempting peaceful conflict resolution (for more information, read the iMom article “Teaching Your Children Peacemaking Skills”).

Positive Identity

Celebrate your child’s unique personality and give them plenty of affirmation. Help them develop a positive identity and a sense of purpose and meaning in their life. Give them the skills necessary to make tough choices and to work through difficult times. Help them think through their options when facing difficult choices and help them choose the wisest plan. Encourage them to find inspirational, positive role models. Openly talk with your child about what gives your life meaning and a sense of purpose.

(37) Make sure your child feels they have some influence over the events in their life. Teach them basic coping skills and stress management techniques.                                                                                            

(38) Make sure your child likes themselves and watch out for signs of low self-esteem.                                                                                                                    

(39) At this stage, your child may begin pondering the “meaning of life” questions and their purpose. Work with them through these questions and provide plenty of role modeling for leading a purposeful life.                                                                       

(40) Make sure your child is optimistic about their personal future"

Source: Search Institute — http://www.search-institute.org

Article from imom.com

Photo found on Google.